I’m sorry.

A perfect video to remember before speaking on conference calls, work meetings, presentations, in gym classes, on airplanes, walking down the street, taking an elevator, taking BART, during a slightly complicated restaurant order, after the haircut you don’t like, after the meal you don’t like, after someone bumps into you, and all the other times we begin a sentence with an apology:

Thank you, Amy Schumer.

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Weekend in Rockridge

Hello!  Writing this in the last few hours of a wonderful weekend.  I realized tonight that this is the first three day weekend we’ve spent  relaxing at home since we moved to California.  It was so nice to take it easy and really relax.

We stayed in on  Friday night and decided to spend the day in Napa on Saturday.  It was gray and cold when we left Rockridge.  An hour later, we were in sunny and gorgeous Napa:



Our first stop was Oxbow Market, where we planned to pick up sandwiches and snacks for a picnic:



We walked in and I was immediately overwhelmed.  The vendors all looked delicious, but it was packed. I realized we would like spend the next hourish jostling for counter space.  We noticed a quiet restaurant in the back, the Kitchen Door, and decided to try it.

I’m embarassed to admit I spent a half-a-second thinking, “shoot-I never read about this in my Napa research-we should probably Yelp it before committing.”  Ughhh.  So glad we didn’t listen to my ridiculous subconscious.  The restaurant was perfect.

From there, we drove up to William Hill:



This was my favorite winery during my October trip with Heather and Lauren, and once again, it was specatcular.  When we walked in, the associate said, “I hope it’s ok….this is chardonnay weekend, and we’re doing a series of chardonnay tastings.”  Yes, that is absolutely fine.

The best part about William Hill-other than the delicious chardonnay and incredibly generous pours-is the view.  Instead of doing the tasting at a bar inside, you sit at lovely Adirondack chairs and do the tasting while looking at Napa.



We ended up staying for hours, relishing the scenary and late afternoon views.



It was very relaxing.

On the way home, we stopped at Gotts for burgers and split a shake :)

Lexi was in town for the weekend, and yesterday morning, we met up for a hike at the Lafayette Reservoir:



The reservoir is maybe 15 minutes from our apartment, but it felt like a total escape.  It was such a treat to spend the morning catching up with Lexi and enjoying the beautiful scenary:



That afternoon, David and I went into SF and took the Muni out to Ocean Beach. We met up with Bress and walked to Golden Gate Park. It was FREEZING and very overcast.  All throughout the park, people were barbecuing and playing lawn games. It looked like a perfect summer scene, except it was 50 degrees, and people were wrapped in blankets and parkas.  

From there, we went to the Dillons for a delicous dinner. Zac has been infusing different liquors, and we got to sample his fennel and citrus creations. So cool!

Mimi is in town from Brazil, so this morning, we had a mini-college reunion brunch.  Thanks to the magic of Market Hall, it was super easy.  I completely failed on taking a photo of the group, but I took a quick one of the table to remember:



And now, the three day weekend is almost over.  So grateful for the rest and catching up with friends. Here’s to a new week ahead!

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Memorial Day Stay

Hello, Memorial Day Weekend!



(from Saturday in Sausalito)

It’s funny-we’re not travelling anywhere, but I found myself so excited for the holiday weekend from the moment I woke up.

All day at work, I had that feeling of eager anticipation, the kind you get right before a flight.  In my mind, I’m visualizing the weekend as a staycation.  The concept always seems a bit absurd (isn’t it basically a euphuism for a weekend at home?) but I’m embracing it Iike a vacation.

The whole apartment is crisp and clean, so when I get home from work, it’ll be (almost) like being at a hotel.  And I won’t spend the whole weekend thinking about what needs to be cleaned.

At lunch, I walked to the OPL and picked up some great vacation reads.  I’m particularly excited to read Quiet.

We did Blue Apron this week, so we have some out-of-the-ordinary dinners to look forward to. And, I want to try a new restaurant-maybe something that feels like it’s far away.

Also looking forward to catching up with friends, hiking, and maybe exploring a new place.

Hooray for vacation :)

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Nora Ephron Day

Yesterday would have been Nora Ephron’s 74th birthday :)

via

On the drive home from Palm Springs, David and I listened to I Feel Bad about My Neck.  There’s so many gems in her writing, but I really loved when she talked about the rapture of getting lost in a book:

Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it’s a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it’s a way of making contact with someone else’s imagination after a day that’s all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.

Wore my favorite turtleneck and scarf today in her honor.  Happy birthday, Nora Ephron!

PS-How fun would it be to spend an afternoon with Tom Hanks and Nora Ephron, people watching and eavesdropping? I’m picturing the scene in You’ve Got Mail, where Joe and Kathleen sit on the bench admiring their farmers market finds and he fake guesses the meaning behind the 152 in NY 152.  Except, instead of Meg Ryan, it’s Nora Ephron and they’re just people watching and commenting, and I’m sitting in the middle listening to their banter. Delightful.

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It can’t rain forever.

One of the most difficult times in my young adult life was Fall, 2007.  David had recently moved to Bristol, CT for a job at ESPN and I was in Baltimore, starting my first year of law school.  Our still very new relationship was learning what it meant to be long distance, post-college, and very far from home.

All this change alone was intense.  Sometime late-fall, it became very emotionally difficult.  On one visit to Connecticut, we ordered Chinese takeout from one of two decent restaurants in Bristol.  David opened his fortune cookie, smiled, and held it out to me:

I cried.  We saved the fortune, hoping it was a sign that this tough time would pass.

And, of course, it did. David kept the fortune tacked to his bulletin board, and it travelled with him from Connecituct to Baltimore to our first home together in DC.  Last year, while packing, I tucked it into a scrapbook, along with the train tickets, UCLA memorabilia, and other travel momentos David saved on that board, reminders that the rain did stop, and the memories are awesome.

Fast forward to this weekend.

Friday evening I learned that my second attempt at the CA bar was, once again, an exercise in futility. I failed.

I’m still pretty tender and haven’t emotionally sorted out my supreme disappointment.  Writing helps, so here I am.

After the initial shock, the rest of the evening was pretty textbook: called my mom, sobbed. Curled up with David, sobbed.  Emailed friends, sobbed. Got a headache, ate some pizza. David, my champion, ever the level-headed and rational partner, tended and listened.

We’d made plans to check out Sausalito on Saturday and it seemed silly to cancel so I could lie in bed and cry. The Bar stole a solid 2 1/2 months of winter exploration, I wasn’t going to let it take another weekend.

So, Saturday morning, while drinking coffee and getting ready for the day, I pulled out Amy Poehler’s Yes, Please.  I’d been reading and loving it the last few days and had left off in Part 3: Be Whoever You Are, in the middle of a story of a terrible professional experience. I opened it up to these words:

I stomped upstairs and felt angry for about five minutes, and then I watched the anger travel through my body like a wave and leave. Emotions are like passing storms, and you have to remind yourself that it won’t rain forever.  You just have to sit down and watch it pour outside and then peek your head out when it looks dry.

Of course, I sobbed.

And then I read it to David, and cried some more.

And then we got going on our day and drove to Sausalito. I must have said “I love/hate this state so much right now” a dozen times. Sausalito is specatcular. Cavallo Point is gorgeous.  This state is incredible.

And even though I can’t quite silence that horrible, hurt, inner voice that’s saying “ya, it’s awesome, and it doesn’t want YOU,” I know that it’s going to be ok.  I’m angry because I’m hurt and scared and disappointed, but I can’t be angry forever.

It won’t rain forever.

Especially not in California :)

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