4 years!

This time four years ago….we were cutting the cake at our reception at UCLA :)

Tonight, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, looking at a post-dinner high chair, covered in edamame, and already anticipating my Friday morning coffee.

So, basically, living the real, beautiful life that is four years of marriage.

Diego has a cold and last night was rough. He was up most of the night, wailing to be held. David walked with him for hours, until Diego finally…..dozed…off…

Four years ago, when we gathered in the evening sun at Dickson Plaza, and stepped into marriage, felt quite different from tonight. As David and I blearily trudged through the morning today, and traded off half-work days and baby care, doled out Tylenol and rolled on the Oilogic, I had a moment where I thought….”hmmph…some anniversary.”

But really, this was the dream on that warm July evening. This was the exact simple life we hoped for, as we exchanged rings, to wear in love and joy. And, over the last few years, this is what we kept hoping for, in beautiful, happy days, and in very difficult ones, as well. As my favorite, Kelly Corrigan says, in the closing line of Glitter and Glue, THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE GREAT ADVENTURE.

I mean, my goodness, how freaking lucky are we to ring in four years with a whiny baby? To go through these beautiful and exhausting motions and battles of dinner-bath-bottle-bed, together, every night? To fret over the mundane, like did he get enough to eat tonight? Why won’t he just fall asleep in his crib, like every other baby? Must he open the cabinet and take apart the rice cooker every.single.time I make dinner?

Since I started typing this, we watched our wedding video, and I’m energized by those memories. Four years is not that long; hardly a blip on the screen in many marriages. Yet looking at the people in the video, it feels simultaneously like long ago and a recent memory.

When I picked out David’s card, the TJs card selection was pretty slim, so I opted to re-work at wedding card. The cover is a print of wedding shoes and cake, with big words: BEST DAY EVER! It made me smile because, as Mindy Kaling says, our wedding was “a great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of a friendship with a person you can’t wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years.”

It was a beautiful day. But the best part is that it started the next chapter, the new adventure of life in marriage. In our wedding video, my mom commented that I told her how much I look forward to coming home from work, because I can’t wait to see David, and talk at the end of the day. We don’t talk about gardening, but four plus years later, the sentiment still stands. I love the end of the day, when everything is finally quiet, and we talk.

So, I guess yes, some anniversary! Grateful for that beautiful day four years ago, and all the best days ever and hard days, and everything in between, past, present and future.

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Lunch with a view

Meg was in town this weekend and it was SO FUN! It was also hilarious. We tried to keep our Bay Area adventure expectations super low, and each day’s itinerary was fairly simple and spontaneous.

Still, even with the most basic plans, travel with two babies includes out of whack nap-and-eating days. Which is how we discovered this perfect spot for a car nap/picnic:

Ha! Sweet sleeping babies in Marin :)

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4th of July

Listening to fireworks, thinking about our imperfect union, hoping that it will improve, feeling grateful for this country and this relaxing day with family.

The weather was perfect, and we spent the day in Stockton, with a beautiful afternoon at the pool. Silvia made a delicious lunch and it was pretty special floating around in the pool, under the sun, on a Wednesday afternoon.

But for Diego? The highlight of this holiday? Hanging with his BFF, Charlie.

He’s just smitten with this dog.

And loooooooves sharing his Cheerios.

Unfortunately, with his tiny apartment and his mom’s low tolerance for Additional Logistical Responsibilities, it looks like Diego won’t have a dog of his own for a while. Thank goodness visits with his grandma!

Happy 4th of July :)

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June

Wow. Summer is flying. I always say this in June, and then August always seems so slow. It’s wild that last summer we lived a mere 70 miles away, and the weather was completely different. Today is cloudy and gray, and looks like it will be a pretty chilly 4th of July.

June was a difficult month for the world, and many days felt very, very sad. At the same time, it was a month of growth for Diego, some happy trips, and time together as a family. I want to remember all that, too. Here’s 10 moments I want to remember from June:

1) DALLAS with my best friends…

2) and spending the day together at this awesome pool:

3) Monday night dinner picnics:

4) Father’s Day A’s Game

4) Diego’s first steps!

5) Mexico in the World Cup!

6) A hike around Angel Island…

7) and Mom visiting Oakland for the weekend:

8) Babies in Monterey…

9) and good, soul-restoring conversation with their awesome mothers:

10) Tooling around on the weekends with my favorite people : )

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“Can I help with the stroller?”

Feeling pretty heartbroken and angry. The internment of children at the border is not a sentence I thought I would write in 2018, and yet, this is a horrifying reality.

Having trouble processing this and figuring out what to do (other than donate, call Congress, March on June 30).

Crying generally helps me process, but until this morning, I’ve felt too numb and shocked to cry.

Earlier today, I got very emotional before dropping Diego off. Generally, David drops Diego off at daycare, but once-a-week-ish, he’ll have a meeting, and I do drop off. The daycare is only a 20 minute walk from our house, but I always find myself scattered and rushing.

This morning, low on time, I decided to take the bus. Of course the time tracker was off, resulting in this frazzled  stroller-mom running to catch up with the bus. I felt embarrassed when we got on-after all that effort, we weren’t traveling far.

At our stop, practicing Good Bus Manners, I turned to the rear doors…and they closed just as I approached. A kind stranger pushed the button, holding them open, and I realized a new challenge: the bus was way too far from the curb to stroller off.

“Can I help you with your stroller?” The kind bus stranger lady asked, as I was clearly extremely flustered. Somehow, in that moment, I lifted the stroller, the doors slammed behind me, and the bus charged off–before I had a chance to say thanks.

For whatever reason, standing on the curb, I began to cry. In that 5 second exchange, I felt a tiny bit vulnerable and flustered, and someone reached out to help.  Suddenly, all I could think about (and indeed, all I’ve been thinking about) are the extremely vulnerable parents at the border. To feel vulnerable, and be surrounded by agents who offer no empathy, to feel completely alone, must be absolutely terrifying. Who is looking out for these families? Who is there to help? Is there any moment, where they feel kindness or empathy directed at them?  How are they managing to endure, day after day, without their children, their loved ones ripped away from them? And I can’t even think put words to the fear I feel for their children, and the horrifying trauma this vindictive monster is creating for them.

I don’t know what else to say. It is hideous and awful.

 

 

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