Is that right? 24 days until the wedding? Unreal.
Equally unreal-I live in California now. Feeling so completely foreign and new in the state where you grew up and lived for 22 years is-likely an experience unique to a Californian.
Since I’ve been an Oakland resident for all of four days, hesitant to make any generalizations about what this means or what it’s like here-all I know is that it’s new. And different. I certainly don’t feel like I’ve moved home-this is a completely new place.
However, unlike the last time I moved across the country, I don’t have that haunting, terrifying sense of total loneliness. When I moved to Baltimore, I felt completely alone-like I had to do everything and figure everything out. Which was basically true.
This time around, I’m astounded at how different the change is psychologically. Not being alone, having David here, makes the whole thing completely different. And the fact that his family is close by and my parents are drivable just puts everything into a completely different mindset.
It doesn’t mean that this isn’t a lot-it just doesn’t feel insurmountable. It’s been intense-when David met me at baggage claim, I just wanted to collapse. The feeling of exhaustion is wearing off, but still having the new-kid-in-school moments. Just trying to be patient with everything and take everything slowly.
One thing I do know-I don’t ever want to take this weather for granted. It is gorgeous here. Each morning, when I wake up to sunlight! Shining through the widows (byeeee basement apartment!) I remind myself of how awesome that is. Every walk that doesn’t end drenched in sweat feels like such a gift. It’s brutal right now in DC, and I feel a bit obnoxious writing this. But this is just incredible and I don’t ever want to be blasé about it-it’s awesome and I hope I’ll continue to be awed and grateful.