Monthly Archives: April 2015


Today is a sad day for an incredible city.

I don’t have any eloquent thoughts, or sweeping words on this crisis. There’s many layers there, so much history, and this is about more than just tonight. It would be foolish for me to write about anything more than what I know right now.

And that is that I’m sad. Sad to see this remarkable city, and her beautiful people hurting so much.  This is a city that gave me my adult life and I ache to see it in pain.  Baltimore is really where we grew up and it will always feel a bit like home. 

I’m praying for Baltimore and sending love and hope.

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Quiet weekend at home

Thank you, weekend, for being quiet and settled-no travelling, no big events, no hospital, no studying, no major distractions-just home and peaceful.

Thank you weekend, for the RAIN on Friday night.  A perfect pairing with David’s delicious scalloped potatoes and coq au vin.

Thank you, for an incredible Saturday night at Notes and Words.

I expected the amazing AQ and Kelly Corrigan to bring down the house with their phenomenal readings (which they did).  I did not expect to be a weepy, blubbering mess,  as all of the readings were profoundly emotional.  Kelly Corrigan kicked it off with a gorgeous essay about the nurses who care at Children’s Oakland, and she shared that Greenie had recently passed away.  Next up, David Handler read a passage from his latest, We Are Pirates, the story of a nursing home resident with dementia and a teenager volunteer on an adventure-well, at that point I was done.  I could not stop crying.  The musical numbers lightened things up, but then AQ read Goodybe Dr. Spock, which I remember reading 15 years ago, and the tears were back.  Even David Brooks tugged at my heart, with passages from his Moral Bucket List column.

It wasn’t all tears-it was an incredibly joyous evening, as well.  David Brooks was actually hilarious, with his spot-on commentary on the lifestyles of wealthy progressives.  In the finale, all the musicians and writers came on stage and sang and danced to You Cant Always Get What You Want, and it was a moment.

And then, fifteen minutes and two BART stops later, we were home! Quite the I

Thank you, for the spectacularly clear Sunday.  We discovered a new hiking gem, Mount Tamalpais, with stunning views of the Bay:

It was a good, work-up-an-appetite-hike.  I was grateful for our salami and cheese picnic afterwards.

Thank you, for the Hualgars and Dillons, who came over last night for spagetti and meatballs.  It was a cozy, easy way to wind down from the weekend.

And now-Monday morning! Here we go, new week!

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Cant fall asleep because I’m on an energy rush after an incredible evening at Notes and Words. Will write more soon. 

Trying to zone out, I’m scrolling through updates and this made me laugh out loud:

Awesome, hilarious and so sweet.  #FindJonathanHorowitz. 

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Tell Me About It

I recently read Anna Quindlen’s Thinking Out Loud, her collection of NYT Public and Private columns from 1990-1993. On the flight from DC a few weeks ago, I found myself furiously typing about her powerful passages, many of the themes as relevant today as they were two decades ago. 

 I must have looked completely ridiculous. My iPad died, so I was using my wireless keyboard to write notes on my phone.

One column, The Nun’s Story stuck with me.  I keep thinking about this anecdote, when one woman confesses a harrowing story to the nun in a poor Massachusetts parish:

“(The nun) was stunned. Finally she said, ‘Tell me about it.’ Tell me about it. Tell me about the thing I have never experienced and cannot begin to understand. Tell me about the lives I haven’t led, the demons I’ve never faced.” 

This is what I loved about the book.  In her columns, Quindlen listens to the stories of others, who live lives we rarely see, and through her writing, they tell us about it.  She takes major national events of the time-the Shaivo case, the war in Iraq, HIV/AIDS-and illustrates them with stories of people who need to be heard.

At times, it was comforting to see how the country has progressed in 25 years. We have greater access to health care, greater LGBT equality, and better family leave policies.  But it was deeply troubling to realize how little we’ve advanced in other areas, like inequality, racial justice, and end-of-life care. 

There are several columns where it seems like she’s writing directly to 2015 USA, where she explicitly says “I wonder if 25 years from now…..will change.”  It’s eerie. 

I wish she was still a columnist.  With the Supreme Court hearing oral arguments on Obergefell v. Hodges, and consolidated cases, on April 28, I would love to read an AQ column on why #LoveCantWait for a constitutional right to marriage.

Though, in her 1992 column, Evan’s Two Moms, she kind of already did: 

“In 1967 the Supreme Court (in Loving v. Virginia) found such laws to be unconstitutional. Only 25 years ago and it was a crime for a black woman to marry a white man. Perhaps 25 years from now we will find it just as incredible that two people of the same sex were not entitled to legally commit themselves to one another. Love and commitment are rare enough; it seems absurd to thwart them in any guise.”

Tell me about it-it is absurd.  Let’s hope her vision comes true.

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Hold on tight

Last year, my colleague Hannah told me about Roz Chast’s Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? After several misses with the library hold list* I finally picked it up yesterday.

It’s so good. It’s everything we always think about with aging issues, carefully and hilariously illustrated.

This little segment about her parents-married for 67 years!-tugged at my heart and I’ve been thinking about it all day:

I’ve never seen that sentiment articulated so well-it’s so sweet and so real.

*Ah, the library hold list. One of life’s great dramas. Recently, after being 37th on the list for Yes, Please! I finally got the notice the book was ready for pick up. I was out of town. Back in line!

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Filed under Marriage, Reading list, Seniors