Today, David and I picked up and delivered the first piece of furniture that will eventually go in our new house.
We bought the house back at the end of August, but I’ve been too cautious to write anything and generally reluctant to talk about it. My reasoning: I Don’t Want to Get Excited Because Something Bad Might Happen. This mentality, an overpowering and absolutely horrible way to approach life, is not healthy. Walking around the house today, I felt very excited (and totally overwhelmed) and realized I’m tired of this fear of something terrible happening holding me back from looking forward to good things.
So, this is our little fixer upper! It’s a sweet little craftsman bungalow that needs a TON OF WORK in a cute little neighborhood and I’m incredibly excited and stressed by the whole process of buying it, redoing it and eventually (hopefully) moving in to it.
I’m grateful when I walk around inside, peak out the window in the kitchen, and imagine what it will be like to live there. It is unnerving to walk inside, see the house stripped down to the studs, with dust and beams everywhere, and wonder–is this ever going to be habitable? It is exciting to pour through Apartment Therapy and home magazines, daydreaming about about farm sinks, floating vanities, and actually having a dishwasher (!!!!) in our home. It is scary to wonder, is moving a good decision? Why did we decide to renovate a quirky quirky old house when we have no idea what we’re doing?
Our contractor has made significant progress on the renovation, but there is still so much to do before we can move. I hate not knowing exactly when we’ll move, or if everything will work out, but trying, trying, to be patient, enjoy the process, and not be so afraid.
This morning, we picked up a bed and desk for the spare room from my kind colleague who was moving and getting rid of some furniture. As we were leaving Rockridge, driving to our house in Stockton, David turned on the radio in the cargo van rental, looked at me and smiled, “well, isn’t this the perfect song to start this drive to our house?” :)